Review: Drink, Slay, Love (Sarah Beth Durst)

Drink, Slay, Love by Sarah Beth Durst

Publisher:  Margaret K. McElderry (2011)
Format: Hardcover | 386 pages
Genre(s): Romance, Young Adult, Humor

Description (GR): "Pearl is a sixteen-year-old vampire... fond of blood, allergic to sunlight, and mostly evil... until the night a sparkly unicorn stabs her through the heart with his horn. Oops.

Her family thinks she was attacked by a vampire hunter (because, obviously, unicorns don't exist), and they're shocked she survived. They're even more shocked when Pearl discovers she can now withstand the sun. But they quickly find a way to make use of her new talent. The Vampire King of New England has chosen Pearl's family to host his feast. If Pearl enrolls in high school, she can make lots of human friends and lure them to the King's feast -- as the entrees.

The only problem? Pearl's starting to feel the twinges of a conscience. How can she serve up her new friends—especially the cute guy who makes her fangs ache—to be slaughtered? Then again, she's definitely dead if she lets down her family. What's a sunlight-loving vamp to do?"

WARNING: Contains some SPOILERS!

Eh. How to start this review? Ah yes. There are vampires in this book. Lots of vampires. If you are tired of vampires... read this!!

Pearl is a vampire. A bad vampire (or a good one, depending on your point of view). She lives in a basement, can't stand the sun and snacks on Brad the ice-cream boy every other night... she doesn't sparkle, sure, but that is a minor detail.

One day, after snacking (again) on Brad, she sees something that does spark... and isn't supposed to exist: a unicorn. A unicorn that stabs her in the heart with its shiny horn.

Pearl thinks she's done for, so when she wakes up on her doorstep safe and sound the next dawn she is puzzled. And even more when she discovers she can actually stand in daylight! Her parents are pretty happy and she soon has a mission: to infiltrate the local high school and round up some cattle people to feed the vampire king. Easy peasy? Not so much when you actually talk to the food. And start to grow a conscience.

Features evil (and not sparkly) vampires, very sparkly unicorns, scheming high schoolers and newbie vampire hunters. Oh and 80's TV shows.

"Drink, Slay, Love" was the funniest book I've read in a while. Sarah Beth Durst really managed to write a great vampire themed parody - ok, maybe her Twilight snark had something to do with the fact that I loved this book, but I'm pretty sure that it was the rest too. Like how she managed to make the most ridiculous-sounding plot ever work really well. Or how there wasn't insta-love. Or how Pearl seemed so genuine and truly grew throughout the book.

Pearl is a delightful heroine. She really is pretty mean at the beginning, but she's never a character you don't like. From page one she has charisma.

I must say I wasn't very enthused with Evan or Bethany (the other main characters in the story) but I did like Tara and Pearl's adventures in the track team with Sana made me think of Japanese shoujo manga (may it be because it was a track team? Or because the girl was named "Sana"? Eheh.) Pearl's family was hilariously evil and Uncle Pascha was great with his long chess game and his Shakespeare quotes.

The story was pretty standard but the author's humorous prose and the characters made it an easy, engrossing read.

There is not much more to say about the book, except that it was a funny, good read. It was what Insatiable by Meg Cabot would have been if the author had managed to write really amusing characters. I really liked Pearl, she was a great protagonist and was amazed at how the author managed to turn an idea that could have gone badly wrong into a gripping story. I think people who are tired of the old cliches of vampire (and YA paranormal) fiction will probably like this.

I don't really do this at all, but I just have to add a "notable quote" from this book. Ah!

"After three gulps of AB-negative, she said. "I saw a My Little Pony refugee. Horselike. Kind of glowy. Big sharp horn. It looked as if it had jumped off a poster from the bedroom of an eight-year-old girl. (...)"

--- "Drink, Slay, Love", page 17.

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